Even If You Trust Your Teen, Do You Trust Drugs?

Even If You Trust Your Teen, Do You Trust Drugs?

This is the sixth installment of a blog series that will dispel the 10 most common and stubborn myths parents believe about exposing children to alcohol. This time we will tackle big, fat myth #7: My son/daughter is a good kid – I trust him/her to do the right thing when away from the family

Uh, oh.  Don’t fall into the trust trap.  The author, Adam Phillips said, “trust is a word we put too much trust in.” Being a good person does not mean you will make perfect decisions at every moment of your life. Your three year old daughter knows she is supposed to look both ways when she crosses the street – you’ve explained it to her many times.  When the time comes to actually cross the street, you take the child’s hand – you know your three year old could forget or get distracted and walk in front of a car.  You also don’t trust drivers to be careful and stop in time…part of it is that your child might not have the skills necessary to take this step alone AND you don’t trust the environment to look out for your child.  If only parents of teens could stay this vigilant as the child reaches middle and high school and spends more time away from home.  Most plans your teen proposes on a Friday night will have to be checked out and modified so that you can be comfortable when your child walks out the door – your child will not thank you for calling ahead to the party or saying no to a loony plan.  Be prepared for some tense moments with your teen when you pull rank and do what you feel is necessary to protect your child.  This is when you need to say, “honey, I don’t trust the situation you would like to enter tonight – I know situations have a way of growing bigger than the people in them and it’s my job to keep you safe – sorry, you are going to miss this party.”  What we don’t trust are alcohol and other drugs.  Love and trust are not the same thing – love is always there, trust comes later when competence has been demonstrated in all major areas of life – when your child is in her mid thirties…

Tune in next week for big, fat myth #8: I am the only parent who is this strict and my child is suffering socially as a result…

 

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